Friday, 30 April 2010

Pagan Artists Network... the Blog.

From the off this post is some shameless advertising for the blog version of Pagan Artists Network, the ning group that I have been a member of for a while now.

For those of you that would like to see some fantastic Pagan arts and crafts, some which is created for sale, some which is just for fun then please do stop on by and check it out.

There are some wonderfully talented and friendly people over there and some beautiful work to be inspired by, so I order you to go look... right now! lol

Pagan Artists Network  - the blog

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Neverending

While a few things have been sorted more just keep cropping up on the health side right now... why, why, why won't it all just go away? It's the reason I haven't been around too much online, I've just not been able to devote much time to the computer as it triggers my headaches off.

I went back to the doctors earlier in the week and after her initial disbelief in my statement that my coil wasn't in place any longer she did check. Lo and behold it had come partially out so she removed it, told me that this had never happened before with one of her fitted coils and asked me what I wanted to do next? Well, how was I supposed to know? Thankfully my doctor is good and does listen to my concerns so she suggested I try this pill that works just like the coil (accept that instead of leaving it in for 5 years I have to take it every day). So that is what I am on for now for the next three months before I go back and have a review.

On the downside I still have  a lot of pressure in my head from this cold and the blocked sinus' it's causing me. My wisdom tooth has also been playing my around so my whole jaw and ear area is sore not to mention I still have that neverending headache, which is only made worse because of the pressure. It's made everything impossible as anything I want to do... painting, cross-stitch, computer stuff etc... just makes my headache come back. Then a couple of days ago I started getting this pain in the muscles at the base of my skull/top of my neck on the side that I have the tooth ache. It's in a really painful and annoying place that I can't get too properly to massage so it's been hot compresses, olbas oil and painkillers for me. I just want the pain to go away now as the whole area is stiff, difficult to move and generally depressing :( I really hope it gets better soon so I can enjoy our trip to Hastings on Monday without having to be popping ibuprofen all day and grimacing when I move, especially now that the kids will be with their dad that day so me and my man get to go without them. As much as I know Beth in particular would enjoy it it will be nice to spend the time with him on my own.

To cap it all off this week my tv also died, which is pretty disastrous in this house as the kids were not happy and being as that about all I can do when my head gets painful is lay down and have the tv on it's been rather dull here. Thankfully my lovely man and his brother brought down a spare tv for us yesterday evening, saving the day once again.

I haven't even started thinking about Beltane this weekend... no plans have been made so I'll just have to see what I'm up to when it rolls around, I'm hoping that I'll feel at least a bit better by then so I can celebrate in some way properly... Beltane is one of my favourite festivals, I will be sorely disappointed if I can't really do anything much for it because of feeling ill again :(

Saturday, 24 April 2010

A Quick Update


With Beth back at school, my cold on the way out and most of the downstairs tidied up out came my inspiration as a few ideas started kicking about over the last day or so... hopefully it will continue and I'll be able to really crack on and get a decent amount of work done.

There have, as always with us at the moment, been issues though. For a start Ethan has been cranky as hell and waking in the night with, what I'm guessing, is teething pains. Poor Beth, who shares a room with him has been through the ringer.. in fact the other night for the first time ever she slept in with me for the night after he woke up screaming blue murder. He did finally settle when I changed his nappy and gave him some medicine but we had a similar thing last night too though the worst of it was concentrated around when I put him to bed. I confess, part of this is probably my fault too as I had been tweeking his routine a little to work better around school runs and stuff and with the hope that he would settle down better at night when I put him to bed... doesn't look like it's working though so I'm going to see how he goes today back in his 'old' routine. If it improves at least I'll know that this is what's right for him.

It's also going to be a visit to the doctors again for me :( looks like my coil isn't in place properly so I'm going to have to have it removed and a new one put it... oh the joy... not so much looking forward to that but we'll see what the doctor says when I see her next week. I'm willing to give it another try as I do think it will work the best for me, but if it expels or partially expels again I'm going to have to rethink my options... which are decidedly few and far between. I don't really know that there's that much left open to me... it's just been a total nightmare this whole contraceptive issue.

That's about it here, it's been pretty quite otherwise. Me and my man are hoping to take the kids to the Hastings Jack in the Green Festival this year on Monday 3rd May. It looks like it'll be pretty good, I've never been and we all want to go so with any luck... health and work permitting... that's the plan for the bank holiday next weekend.

Have a good weekend guys x

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Ahhh... A Bit of Quiet...

The Easter holidays are over and Beth is finally back at school... don't get me wrong, I love having her home and spending time with her but the way we've been feeling these last few weeks has meant my patience has been wearing pretty thin and the holidays felt a lot longer than 2 weeks. Needless to say with the new found relative peace and quiet this end came the dreaded head cold which has hit me and the little guy pretty hard. It's the first one I've had in years... you really forget how miserable they can make you feel.


Feeling a little perkier today having got a semi-decent nights sleep last night despite my inability to breathe and the fact I practically doused my quilt cover in Olbas Oil to help with this, I had a good old clean up of the front room and set up another little meditative shrine... well it's been there a little while and needed a good clean off, but it felt nice to light a candle and some incense and have a moment with my balancing stones. The poinsettia on the left is the one my mum brought me at the beginning of December for over Christmas... much to everyone's amazement it is still going strong, though I've probably jinxed it now that I've written about it here, lol.

The black 'tray' was my little zen garden, the problem I had with it was that it was a massive temptation to inquisitive fingers... even my rather mature and sensible 5 year old couldn't resist a play. Sick of constantly having to clear up the spilt sand, not to mention having my displays wrecked I removed the sand, turned it upside down and created a little meditative shrine for my front room instead. The nice thing about it all being on this tray too is that I can just pick it up and move it to where I want to sit with it. As you can see it's simple with a  representation of the elements and a collection of crystals. There are 5 clear quartz which direct energy to the two central stones; a large piece of jet and a large moonstone which represent the male and female aspects. They are really good for helping to balance the energies in your body. You hold the black stone in your left hand and the white in your right when you meditate, which is a good practice for me as I like to hold things to rub and feel when I do exercises like that. I think it's just my tactile nature but even if I'm meditating out and about I always find it helpful and powerful to hold something whether it be a crystal, palm stone or pendant that I've brought along or something I've picked up from the area. When I go to the seafront this usually happens to be a hag stone that I've found in the area I've picked to sit.

Hopefully with our routine returning to normal again I will be able to crack on with the building of my website and get some more paintings and work done as I've been having that creative bubbling once again... that is once I've sorted out all of my stuff. My materials are in a bit of a disarray right now, but it won't take me long to get them resorted. I also need to re-pot some of my herbs and tend to the garden which has been rather neglected over the last year *sigh* so much to do!

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Better Late Than Never

We finally got around to making the spring themed biscuits I've been meaning to bake since Ostara, lol. It is what we did this morning after a bit of a lay in, a leisurely breakfast and some playtime with Ethan. Once the little man was having a rest before lunch me and Beth set to work. This is the recipe we used:

2 oz butter
2 oz sugar (I used light brown soft sugar)
1 1/2 tbsp golden syrup
6 oz self raising flour
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp mixed spice (you could just add extra ginger though)
milk (you need very little of this, just add it a tbsp at a time to bind your mixture into a dough to roll out)

Cream together the butter and sugar then add the syrup, flour, spices and milk to create a dough. Roll out, cut into shapes and bake at gas mark 4 for about 5-10 mins until they are slightly browned (just be careful as they can turn from brown to black really quickly, lol)

Of the batch we made I then separated a few for Beth to decorate this afternoon with Rebecah (her lion helper):




And yes, she is wearing a dressing gown over her outfit... why? you may well ask... well she seems to have a thing for her dressing gown at the moment, it goes on on top of everything she wears!

Last night, as well as continuing my cross stitching project I also made these bracelets. The top four are elemental ones and the bottom one is a lunar/goddess one with a silver spiral charm that you can't really see very well in the picture.

Hope you all have a good evening with the new moon. Wishing you all a very happy and productive month to come x

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Releasing Ceremony.


With it being the new moon tomorrow and what with all the stuff that has been going on I have decided that, as well as renewing my wards and house protections (which I've been preparing oil for for the past month) I'm going to hold a releasing ceremony. Certainly now that I know that that is one of the things that is happening I figured it would be a good idea to help facilitate the transitions and process of letting go. I wrote this rite today when the idea popped into my head, the wording may change during the act as I tend to ad lib quite a bit, lol, but you get the idea....

Write down all the things in your life that you recognise you need to release whether they be habits, perceptions, frames of mind, feelings.... whatever they are.... on a plain piece of paper.

Build a small fire outside (mine will be in my cauldron... little barbecue buckets work well too, or if you're doing it indoors a candle by an open window could be used)

Read through your list and really look at and understand each point, call up the feelings and see what each thing on the list is doing to you and how it is negatively affecting you.

Now burn the paper and watch as the fire releases each thing in your life and the smoke carries them to the universe to be taken care of. I wrote a chant/some wording that I will be using as I do this which is more tailored to what I know I need to release:

Past worries, issues, guilt and fear
Unhealthy and bound to me I release with cheer
In fire you burn and air you rise
My past be gone bringing truth not lies
To father sky and mother earth
I send these things for my rebirth
By earth and fire, water and air
My life I cleanse, my spirit I share.

Monday, 12 April 2010

Time For Some Fun

So far the Easter Holidays have been pretty terrible here as you are all well aware. With the kids being ill and me not feeling all that great it's been a rocky week which all seemed to come to a head over the weekend when I felt very down and in desperate need of a big hug from my man who I've barely seen over the last few weeks because of work :(

The good news is I was feeling quite a bit better this morning having found a great deal of peace and strength through my meditation last night. Laying in bed this morning... still not at a stage where I really wanted to get up but wanting to make the best of the day I decided there were two things we were going to do today.

The first was go and buy some flower seeds to grow. Bethany asked me yesterday if we could do this as she wanted to grow her very own plants being a peeved that I have so many potted herbs that aren't quite as pretty as she would like. So off we went to buy some seeds... of course we had to get the ones that she insisted on but she picked some rather lovely mixed Nasturtium which we planted up after lunch when the little man was in bed. There are four pots, two are mine and two are Beths, and in true Beth fashion she wants us to have a contest to see whose grow the best... lets just hope for my sake hers do, lol.

The second thing I decided on was to get a scrapbook to do with the kids as a childrens project and to fill up with seasonal pictures and themes as I gradually begin to introduce them to the wheel of the year. I knew it would be something she would enjoy as she loves to create and make. I did try this a week ago, I bought her a scrapbook, explained what it was for and made the mistake of letting her just use it. Needless to say she was thrilled and had the thing filled with random scribblings and nothing in particular within a couple of hours. So with this one I again explained what it was for and told her that I would be keeping hold of it to fill up a page or two at a time with different themes. She wasn't too happy but after an initial upset we sat down and did some of it for an hour or so. By the end we had successfully filled three pages and I think she gets the idea of what the book is for.... ish.

The first page has a lovely picture, that Beth spent a lot of time doing this morning, of herself. I was trying to explain to her that we put special things and pictures in that we work hard doing and really want to keep safe not just everything we draw... if we did that in our house we'd need a new book everyday :s

The next couple of pages we went for a flowers theme, seeing as how we were planting flower seeds today. As well as the packet from the seeds that we planted Beth stuck in some fabric flowers, a pressed flower and made some pictures with a set of sticky coloured shapes I had. The picture on the right is of Bethany stroking a cat, picking a flower and looking at a rainbow and butterflies, lol. She kind of got the idea eventually though she has since brought through to me a tonne of drawings with the inevitable question of "can we put this into the scrapbook too", lol.

She's also not too keen on the idea of me and Ethan putting things into it either as she wants it to be her book, but she'll just have to get used to that as the whole idea is that this is a family project that we can all contribute towards and I can use to help to get the kids involved with the seasons and themes of the year.

All in all a productive day so far, Ethan has been less screechy too and happy for the first time in a week to crawl around and play instead of being attached to my hip wanting to cuddle, which has been a welcome relief and left me able to get on with bits around the house without the feeling of being stabbed in the head because he is screaming so loudly at me all the time.

Strangeness Going Around? (Part 2)

Yesterday I wrote a post about the strangeness that many of us have been picking up on of late and the impacts that it seems to be having at the moment. First off I want to say thanks to everyone who has shared their experiences so far, it is good to know that we are all in this together.

Last night I meditated and asked for some kind of understanding as to what was going on before I went to bed for another tumultuous nights sleep. I then mentioned how I'd been feeling to my man this morning and he linked me to this very interesting read attributing this phenomenon to the astrology of 2010. If you're interested/wondering about what has been going on this year then click here to have a read.... it certainly explains quite a lot.

I for one have known I've been in a massive transitional time this year, it's what my cards have been constantly telling me, that I am changing and developing at a massive rate. Last year cut out of my life all the things that were detrimental to me and introduced some catalysts that seemed to kick start this process and I think now... well now I seem to be smack bang in the middle of the big upheavel.

Let me know what you think about the artical, particularly the part about The Cardinal and Mutable Cross. It states that those with sun or moon signs within the 'crosshairs of the alignment' (which it explains about earlier in this section) are the ones who will feel the full force of this time and "will go through rapid, creative, and dynamic personal changes."

This whole part of the essay makes a lot of sense to me, both my sun and moon signs are in Capricorn and as I said yesterday I do feel as though all this stuff and baggage that has been hanging on to me is being forced away bit by bit to make way for the new, and some pretty big changes in all areas of my life. Could this all be the physical manifestations of some massive life changes and development for us all? I'm beginning to think that yes it could.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

Strangeness Going Around?

A friend of mine on Facebook asked an interesting question the other day to all his Pagan friends. I saw it today and thought it was quite an interesting theory as I know that so many of us have been going through illness and bouts of sadness and depression that are uncharacteristic and hard to shift.

He wanted to know how many of us had been feeling the same thing as he has been ill for a while now when he normally doesn't get that ill in the first place. He has been plagued by headaches, which has been something I cannot shift either at the moment and generally doesn't feel right. I too, along with many others who responded have been weak to illness, full of headaches that just don't shift through relaxation and have had other health issues. The majority of us have also been getting waves of sadness and depression, my own seem to relate to worries I have had about the past and guilt. Which is ridiculous, because I have nothing to feel guilty about and there's nothing that I am consciously holding onto from the past, though I obviously seem to be trying to let go of a lot of this stuff. But why now? and why does it seem to be happening to so many of us?

For those who are not plagued by illness or sadness of some type or another it's instead generally bad/not nice things happening around them for no real reason. The people that responded feel that they are fighting something away right now, but don't know what or why... which is just how I feel at the moment too. We all feel foggy in the head, disconnected in many ways and just generally not right.

My friend felt that this is a result of some kind of negativity being pushed on us as a whole from somewhere, that we are all sharing as a connected group of people. Another person suggested a different theory:

it's our own "negative" stuff which is being pushed out...we're putting ourselves in situations which push our buttons so to speak and we are getting rid of old behaviours which no longer serve us well...and because it's in most parts of our lives, it can seem a bit full on and we need to retreat to rest, process all these energies of transformation and transmutation. it's a big letting go of "old" to make way for "new" energy. we need to be extra vigilant now about who we spend our time with and ensuring we do what WE want first, as opposed to doing what others want. take charge of our spaces, strengthen those boundaries.
try and pamper yourselves a little... i know a lot of things seem "boring" when we are in this foggy headed state, in a lull, but enjoy salt baths with esential oils, utilise the crystals, selenite & amethyst in particular, invoke the violet flame and work with St Germaine to help transmute any "fears", catch up with friends or inspiring people once a week, go for a coffee, shop, dance, whatever puts a smile on your dial :)))) i feel this will last for awhile yet and we just have to be gentle on ourselves. if you don't feel like doing something...don't...and feel good about that. means you need to rest. don't beat yourself up...go easy, be gentle xxxx

another person suggested that perhaps this is all in preparation for the whole 2012 arrival?

Who knows... I don't feel like I'm being 'attacked' by something/someone, but then I wouldn't so much unless it was directed at me personally, which I don't believe it is.

I wanted to share this with you all, to see what you thought about it and if it's happening to you and also to show that if it is you are not alone, there are a lot of us that are recognising this right now and together we can get through it. Hopefully it will pass soon, or it's purpose will become apparent in time. Stay strong my friends, love and light to you all x

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Sunny on the inside :s

We've had some lovely weather here, warm, bright and sunny... unfortunately for me I haven't been able to get out and enjoy it as this pesky virus is still swarming around our house. It's hit us all now, Ethan has been rough with it over the last few days and today's latest casualty was Beth.... she doesn't seem to have it as badly as the little man though *touches wood* so hopefully she's just picked up the 'tail end' of it from him. So most of my day today has involved the constant cleaning and disinfecting of the house as one of the kids has been vomiting everywhere while the other one has been pooing everywhere... and trust me when I say that no nappy can hold the kind of stuff the poor little man has been producing over the last day or so. Top that off with the fact he is teething and has chronic nappy rash right now and I'm sure you can imagine that there's been little fun here all in all :(

The good news is that my mum surprised me with a visit this afternoon for a couple of hours which did lighten the load and give me a little respite from it all. And the wonders of the internet have managed to keep me sane at least... I seriously wonder what I would do if I didn't have access to it... it doesn't bare thinking about :s

Healing thoughts would be very much appreciated my friends and hopefully we will be able to kick this horrid illness out of our family once and for all x

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Progress

Here's the first section complete....The colouring looks much nicer in this picture as it's a lot brighter today so the light is better :)